


Sticking the Pieces

by problematic_mind



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Fluff, Healing, M/M, and just them being happy together, and kissing, post trk, there is a LOT of talking, trying to make things work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:34:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28137018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/problematic_mind/pseuds/problematic_mind
Summary: When everything is over, when Cabeswater is gone, when they have to go back to their lives... There is a lot of healing to be done.They know things won't be easy, but at least they are together and that's enough to start putting the pieces together.-or: Ronan and Adam heal together after TRK (pre-epilogue).
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 11
Kudos: 76





	1. Light

For Adam it is unthinkable and senseless how the world goes on as if nothing happened. Gansey died, Gansey lived; Adam almost killed Ronan, Noah disappeared, Cabeswater turned to dust like it never existed at all, Glendower let them down.

Ronan kissed him.

 _He_ kissed _Ronan_.

Can’t the world feel how all these things changed Adam’s life forever? How can they just ignore how everything looks different, messier, more beautiful?

Adam feels like he lived three hundred lifetimes in the last few months and now he just want things to slow down for a second, but life is not like that: it goes on. Always. The world keeps spinnind and you can never make it stop.

Life goes on and on and on and that’s why Adam has to go to school, to sit at his desk and try not to glance at Gansey at every chance he has, to make sure he’s still breathing, that he isn’t turning to dust as Cabeswater. He already lost everything; he can’t lose his best friend too.

But… but.

He also found many wonderful things. The most important of which has black shaved hair and soft lips.

Adam can’t think about anything else all day, he keeps replaying their kiss in his head, wondering if it was as good for Ronan as it was for him - as life changing. God, he hopes he didn’t screw it up. He hopes Ronan still wants to kiss him, he hopes it so much, because that’s the only thing Adam wants to do right now.

They haven’t had time alone since then, because they all spent the weekend at 300 Fox Way. The witches wanted to be sure they were okay (especially Gansey, because apparently coming back to life is not a thing without side effects)(they weren’t sure, though, as they didn’t even know it was possible until it happened to him).

They slept in Blue’s room, Gansey on the bed with her; Henry, Ronan and Adam on the floor, that was covered with blankets and pillows to be more comfortable; Adam and Ronan were so close that Adam could hear Ronan’s slow and steady breath while falling asleep. He could feel his gaze on him even in the darkness. When he woke, his fingers were intertwined with Ronan’s and it sent all kind of feelings down his spine. He didn’t let go until they were all awake and eventually had to move.

It was the only thing that happened between them since the kiss on the porch (if you don’t count all the staring and accidental brushes through the day).

Adam doesn’t know where they are at now.

He wants to know. He _needs_ to know. He doesn’t like not understanding things (especially if they are things of gigantic proportions as this, as Ronan), so he has to figure this out as soon as possible, or his head won’t ever stop spinning eighty miles per hour.

Ronan didn’t come to school today; when they left 300 Fox Way this morning to go to school, he just said he wouldn’t come and disappeared on his BMW with Orphan Girl. Adam wish he was here with him now, so he could keep an eye on him, be sure he’s okay after everything that happened to him, after his mother’s death, but he knows he won’t probably see Ronan at school anymore.

After school and a shift at Boyd’s, Adam can finally – finally – look for Ronan; he’s sure he’ll find him at the Barns, so that’s where he goes. When he stops the car, Orphan Girl runs to him, hooves striking the gravel.

“Hey, is Ronan home?” He asks, shyly, because he still doesn’t know how to behave with the little girl, he crouches and run his hand through her hair in a tender way. She nods smiling a little and before Adam can say anything else, she screams “Kerah!”, taking Adam a little off guard.

The door opens after a few seconds, “I told you not to eat the chairs anymore, brat. I almost broke my fucking ass.” He groans, stepping out in the dying light of the sun. “Oh, Parrish.”

Adam takes a deep breath, even if his lungs feel clenched in a vice when he sees him. “Lynch.”

Orphan Girl runs away after showing her tongue to Ronan, laughing careless, bouncing in the grass of the fields around the Barns. Adam wasn't a happy child, but he recognize it when he sees one. He's glad Ronan has someone who takes care of him, who loves him like she does (he knows that is Ronan, in fact, the adult who takes care of Orphan Girl, but he also recon that Orphan Girl takes care of Ronan's heart in her own unique way).

Adam doesn’t know what do to with himself, because Ronan is staring right at him, but he feels like he’s actually seeing _through_ him, discovering all his darkest secrets, so he has to look away. He sits on the stairs of the porch, to borrow a little more time.

Ronan sits right next to him, close, but not close enough to touch him. They stay quiet for a while, just listening to the wind shaking the trees and to their breathes that melt together.

Ronan bumps his shoulder against Adam’s, “Hey.” He says, his hoarse voice makes Adam feel powerless, like he’s falling falling falling.

“Hey.” Adam replies, meeting his gaze. “You didn’t come to school today.”

“Fuck, no. I’ll drop out, that was useless anyways.” He shrugs, like it’s nothing. Like there are tons of other choices in life beside school for him.

It’s not as easy as that for Adam. He needs to go to school, it’s the only way he has to leave this town. Sometimes it feels suffocating, but Adam makes it work because he knows he has no other options available. It’s his only way.

Adam’s eyes slide from Ronan’s face to his neck, where there are bright bruises the exact size of Adam’s hands. He tried all weekend not to look at them, but now he has to face them, because Ronan is here and he’s staring at Adam like he’s someone worth admiring.

“I am so…” he murmurs, voice catching in his throat. “sorry, Ronan.”

“It wasn’t you, Parrish.” He replies, face unreadable.

“You should’ve fought back, you should have kick me off, you should’ve done… something! I could’ve killed you!” Adam blurs out, suddenly angry. There is a storm of emotions in him that all wants to get out and he doesn’t have enough strength to dominate them. He understands none besides the guilt.

“I’d never touch you like that, Parrish. I could never hit you.” He says simply and he grabs Adam’s hands who are tightly clenched in fists; Adam can feel his nails piercing his skin, but he couldn’t care less, that’s what he deserves for hurting Ronan. He brushes his thumb over the white knuckles, gently. “Adam.” He breathes out, softly and makes him open his hands, sliding his fingers under his. 

Adam isn't used to being touched like this, with such regard. His heart is making something funny in his chest.

He runs his index over the tiny red scratches on his palms, careful not to hurt him. Adam’s anger evaporates like water in the desert. He’s left with just a lot of sadness in his body. There are also other feelings that Adam can’t quite recognize.

“We’re okay. You are okay, so am I. And Gansey. And Blue. And Cheng.” Ronan tells him, his words like milk and honey dripping from his lips.

Adam came here in the first place to comfort Ronan, to see how he was feeling; instead he ended up being the one to be comforted. He feels like shit. He doesn’t deserve Ronan, not even a little bit, but he’s selfish, always have been, and he can’t let him go.

Adam brings his hand to Ronan's chest, right over his heart, and patiently wait to hear the reassuring sound of his heartbeat.

“See? Alive.” Ronan grins.

Adam moves his hand from his chest to his neck and gently brushes his fingertips over the bruises. “You are not allowed to feel guilty over this, Parrish.” He rolls his eyes and moves a little closer to him, pressing theirs hips together. “If you have to feel guilty over something, you can feel guilty for not kissing me yet.” He says it casually, but Adam notices the way his eyes study his face, looking for reassurance that yes, Adam wants to kiss him.

And Adam wants it so bad, that he cups his cheek and brings him to his lips even before he can think about what he's doing. Ronan’s hands find their place in his hair, tugging it back a little and Adam lets out a soft moan, because his body can’t contain all the things that are happening in him right now.

For a second, he thinks “this is what happiness feels like”, but then Ronan’s tongue slides over his bottom lip and he can’t form coherent thoughts anymore.

They kiss and they kiss and they kiss.

They kiss till their lips are sore and they are out of breath and when they move back at last, their noses brush together tenderly, their foreheads pressed on one another and the only thing Adam can see is Ronan’s blue irises completely blurred out of focus. 

“Never been more alive in my entire life, Parrish.” Ronan grins and lets his hands fall from Adam’s hair to his neck. He rubs his thumb over his jaw, drawing invisible lines on his skin.

Adam has never been more self-aware of his body.

“Me neither, Lynch.” Adam replies, lips exploding in a bright smile.

They eat dinner together and Adam watches happily Ronan argue with Orphan Girl about the fact that pizza is tastier than bark (she doesn’t really agree). Adam almost feels like part of this tiny, perfect family, because they both completely behave as if he _belongs_ with them.

Orphan Girl collapses soon after on the couch, holding a slice of bark in her tiny hands, and Ronan picks her up to take her to her (Declan’s) room; he does it rolling his eyes, but Adam notices just how careful and attentive he is not to wake her.

His heart flutters at the sight.

While Ronan is gone, Adam starts to panic again on what to do because besides the kisses, they haven’t really talked about their… situation and he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to stay or go home. This is all so new and fragile that he's afraid he'll crash it permanently. That's the last thing he wants, though.

He desires to stay, but he is not sure where the lines between them are and he doesn't want to cross them by assuming, so he wears his coat and waits for Ronan by the door.

“The fuck are you going, Parrish?” He asks, cocking an eyebrow when he spots him.

“I thought it was time to go home.” He shrugs, casually.

“You can stay.” Ronan says, stopping a few inches from him. “I mean, if you want to… There is still an empty room upstairs.”

Adam opens his mouth to reply, but Ronan adds, shrugging, “Or you could sleep with me.”

His head starts to spin again at full speed, but he tries to keep his chill – freaking out really isn’t an option right now, so he just nods and take off his coat.

Ronan grabs his hand and leads him to his bedroom and Adam can’t just stop fucking overthinking this. He hands him a tee and some sweatpants and he changes in the bathroom after taking a quick shower (because he really doesn't want to smell the first time he sleeps with Ronan)(it isn't the first time, he knows that, but it's the first time they sleep together like _this_ ). When he comes back, Ronan is already under the blankets, Adam tilt his head for a second, before making up his mind and laying next to him. 

Their fingers immediately get intertwined together and Adam is not sure who made the first move, but he’s happy someone did (it’s probably Ronan, because he’s always _so_ brave)(and Adam just isn’t).

Adam has to ask, because it’s eating him alive, “Is this something we’ll get to have every day?” That’s not quite all he wants to know, but it’s enough to start putting the pieces together.

It takes a while for Ronan’s answer to come, but in the end he says, “As long as you’ll have me, Parrish.”

Adam thinks, _forever it is, then._ But he doesn’t say it, what he says, instead, is, “Then you’ll better not disappear, because I want this for a very long time.”

“Honestly, Parrish, at this point you’ll have a hard time getting rid of me.” He grins and Adam scoffs a laugh.

“Good.”

They grow silent for a bunch of minutes, the only movement is Ronan’s thumb rubbing circles on the back of Adam’s hand. Adam could live all his life in this exact moment and he’d die as the happiest man ever. He feels… light, like he might fly away if he’s not cautious to keep his soul locked to his body.

“Can I…” Ronan murmurs, then stops. Clears his throat, then tries again, “Can I hold you?”

Adam doesn’t reply, instead he rolls closer to Ronan and rest his head on his chest; not even a second later, he has Ronan’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer, holding him tightly and they tangle their legs together.

It’s absolutely terrifying how this feels so familiar, even if it’s the first time they hold each other like that.

A spark of bravery lights in Adam and he lets his hand slides under Ronan’s shirt and places it on his belly, trying to ignore the desire of touching more more more skin.

“Goodnight, Parrish.” He murmurs in his hair, before leaving a kiss right on the top of his head.

Adam thought that holding hands was the best, but he was dead wrong.

This. This is the best. Being so pressed together that you don’t even know where one ends and the other begins.

He closes his eyes and think, _Please_. He’s not sure if it’s a prayer, he doesn’t even know what he’s asking for, he just knows that this all he wants from now on.

 _Please_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just... needed to write this because I re-read all the books last week and I realized just how much I missed them.  
> Get in, losers, we're healing! 
> 
> Take care x


	2. Opal

Ronan didn’t know what waking up completely relaxed felt like, until now. Waking up with Adam Parrish’s hair all sprawled on his chest, his hands under his shirt, their legs tangled together. He hasn’t felt this… good in what feels like two hundred years.

Adam’s body feels so warm against his, that Ronan is afraid he might melt if he’s not careful - not that it would be a problem for him, dying in the arms of Adam. It feels like holding the sun.

He wakes way earlier than Parrish, because the souls of dreamers aren’t really made to sleep through the day. During the day they have to live (and deal with) whatever they dreamed the night before. So he just stays there, pulling Adam as close as he can manage without crushing him and looks down at him for a whole eternity.

Ronan never thought he’d get to have this. He didn’t believe he’d be lucky enough to taste Adam’s lips, let alone embrace him like this.

Fuck, he’s living a fucking beautiful life.

Every time he slept at St. Agnes, he never dared to do more than just shoot a casual glance at Adam sleeping next to him on the bed, because he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from reaching an arm and touching his face. His skin always looked so soft, like it was made of dreams and silk.

But now… Now he gets to have this, now this is something he’s allowed to have, so he lets his hand slide from his hair to his cheek and he slowly caresses it, careful not to wake him up. He’s not ready to let him go yet.

Adam’s sleeping face looks like a younger version of himself: it’s completely relaxed, not crackling with all the stress that lives rent free in his body. He’s not worrying about work or school, he’s not scared of not being enough. He just is. Beautiful, incredible Adam. 

Ronan could get used to this. God, he hopes he actually can get used to this, because now that he knows what waking up next to Adam, he never wants to have anything else till the day he dies. 

_I want this for a very long time_ , Adam said and Ronan lets himself roast in that thought till Adam stears and wakes up some time later. 

He doesn't know what he expected Adam to say, but it really wasn't "What the fuck, Lynch?"

"What." Ronan snaps back, panic rising in his belly when Adam rolls away from him in a rush. He isn't sure what he's done wrong. Why does he always to fuck up the things he cares about the most?

Then he sees what was bothering Adam. The mattress under where he was, right next to Adam, is covered in roses. Not just roses in the romantic away, like the petals gently flushing on the bed, no. 

There are dozens of roses, with stems and thorns. They are all blue and Ronan shamely notices that it's the exact same nuance of Adam's eyes. 

Adam bursts out laughing when he sees Ronan's horrified expression. "I'm afraid I'll have to get used to waking up to surprises like that." 

Ronan feels his cheeks turn red, but he refuses to acknowledge it. "Shut up, Parrish, it isn't funny."

"It is. Just imagine what we'll wake up to when we start having sex." He says, and when he realizes what he just said, his cheeks get even more bright red than Ronan's. "I mean, huh...."

Everything is fluttering inside Ronan, not just his heart. "I could dream you a whole planet at that point, Parrish. But it depends on how good the sex is." He teases him, watching Adam picking up the roses and throwing them over the blankets. 

He rolls again next to Ronan as soon as the last rose is gone, they are all sprawled on the blanket on top of them and Ronan is really looking everywhere but there. "I could deal with being the emperor of a planet, it doesn't sound that bad."

Ronan wants to snap back, but the voice of Orphan Girl doesn't let him. "Kerah!" She opens the door just an inch and stares at them shyly. 

"What, urchin?" He says, brow furrowed. She moves her eyes from him and Adam a few times. 

"I'm hungry... Can I come in?"

Ronan glares at Adam to see if that's okay for him, but his eyes are fixed on the little girl, his expression is soft and it makes Ronan's chest implode. He nods and she runs to them, before crawling on the bed and sitting between them without ceremonies. Adam smiles at her and moves a little, to give her more space. "I can go, if you two have your stuff to do." he shrugs, after a while, like he feels as an intruder. He's not. Ronan can't think of anyone who belongs with them more than Adam does.

"You still have two hours before school and you have to eat something before you go, asshole. Put your ass back on the bed." Ronan says, swallowing his pride. That's not exactly what he wanted to say, but it works anyway, because Adam sits again next to Orphan Girl. He really doesn't like to beg for anything, but for Adam he could. He would.

Orphan Girl says, "Stay, Kerah is better when you are here."

Ronan rolls his eyes and messes up her hair gently. "Don't eat that, it has thorns." He says, when she grabs one of the roses and brings it to her mouth. Adam is staring at him with a dumb smile. Ronan knows that, in fact, he's better when Adam is around, but he drops it for now.

"It's softer than bark." She shrugs and starts to eat it happily.

While he and Orphan Girl wait for Adam to take a shower, three quarters of the roses are gone and Ronan's embarrassment is slowly fading. After all, with _what_ he dreamt, he could've brought back much more cringe-y things than roses; he will never admit it aloud though.

The brat disappears in the hallway, saying she's full and she'll go play in the fields. Ronan knows he won't see her inside the house until at least lunch time, if not later. She just really enjoys being outside and for Ronan that's okay, as he'll too spend most of his day-time outside, fixing the three thousands things that need maintenance at the Barns. At least it keeps his mind occupied. 

Ronan leaves the remaining roses on the bed (he'll deal with them once he's alone) and goes downstairs to prepare breakfast for Parrish and him. 

There are all sorts of unknown feelings bubbling in his chest when he sees Adam in his kitchen, with an old tee he borrowed from him and the sweatpants hanging loosely on his hips. What really does it for Ronan, though, is the wet hair. He feels like he's just been struck by a lightning-bolt.

Adam grins when he sits in front of him, "Like what you see, Lynch?" 

"Actually, yes, Parrish. Very much." He shrugs, casually brushing his foot against Adam's leg under the table. 

His cheeks turn red and his grin retraits in a tiny, shy smile that Ronan desperately wants to kiss away. He doesn't say anything, just takes one of the cookies on the table and eats it rapidly. "I gotta leave in ten, I still have to go home and change before school." 

"You better, I don't want you to break every heart of Aglionby with this look." Ronan smirks, but there is so much truth in his words that it almost hurts. 

He's selfish and he wants to be the only one who gets to see Adam like this: sleepy, relaxed, true. With wrinkled eyes and wet hair that frame his face like he's a fucking work of art. 

"Luckily for you, there is only one heart I care about and it's not at Aglionby." He says, enlacing his fingers with Ronan's over the table.

Yes, Ronan can actually say that he won't be able to live without this anymore. Without _him_. He's well aware that he's the luckiest person alive without Adam reminding him.

His body won't just shut up, so he has to change the topic. "I was thinking that I have to find a name for that little brat." 

"Yes, you have to, you could ask her, though." Adam nods, looking out of the window to see if he can spot her playing in the fields.

They grow quiet, but it's not uncomfortable, especially because they keep touching each other; foot brushing against foot, hands squeezed together. They're just happy to be able to be with each other before the day really begins and they have to part ways.

When Adam has to leave, Ronan leads him to his car and tries at his best to ignore the little sadness in his belly. Can't he even stay a day without Adam already? Probably not. He is Adam-starved. 

"Do you have to work today?" Ronan asks, casually.

Adam drops his backpack in the car and nods, "Yes, I won't be free until after dinner time, I have two shifts." 

"You can come by later, if you want. I can cook dinner." 

"I wouldn't want to bother..." Adam mumbles, looking at his feet. 

"Don't be an asshole, you don't bother and you know that. If you don't wanna come, it's fine, but you'll have to find another excuse." Ronan groans, because it really pisses him off the way Adam acts like an intruder, like Ronan isn't the happiest version of himself when he is around.

"Then it's a yes, I guess." Adam nods, smiling a little. 

Only when he sees him smile, it occurs to Ronan that they haven't properly kissed today, so he grabs him by his coat and he pulls him closer, gently collapsing their lips together. Adam wraps his arms around Ronan like his life depends on it and they kiss till they are both out of breath. 

"Yes, yes, it's a yes. I'll definitely see you tonight." Adam murmurs and it makes Ronan laugh against his lips. He bites his bottom lip, pulling it a little, before letting him go. 

"Dork." Ronan rolls his eyes, but he can't hide the smile from his face. "You better get going." He tells him, even if the last thing he wants is see Adam leave. 

"Yeah, okay." Adam tilts his head and gets in the car, but instead of starting the engineer, he lowers the window. "I took the remaining roses, by the way." He shrugs, casually and Ronan's heart does all sorts of things but keep quiet.

"Why?"

"You dreamt them for me, I wanna keep them." He shrugs, smiling widely. He knows exactly what he's doing to Ronan, what an asshole. 

Ronan leans his head in the car and kisses him rapidly on the lips, just a soft touch, before stepping back and letting Adam finally go.

It's not until mid afternoon that Ronan speaks again and it's to Orphan Girl, when she enters one of the barns where he's working on a broken fence.

"Urchin, I was thinking that now that you are here, you'll need a real name." 

"Do I? Besides Brat and Urchin, you mean?" she asks, brow furrowed. 

"These are just nicknames, not your name." Ronan snorts, smiling despite himself. 

"Why do you call me like that, then?"

"Because... That's how I show love, I guess." Ronan answers honestly, because she's taken him off guard.

She gives him a bright smile and nods imperially, "I think I'd like to be called as something beautiful..." She says thoughtfully, playing with the silver bracelet on her wrist Ronan dreamt for her the first night they slept at the Barns together. "What do you think about this?" She adds, pointing at the little stone embedded in it.

"That's an opal." Ronan tells her.

"Opal." She repeats, tasting it on her tongue. "I like how that sounds." 

"Opal it is, then, urchin." Ronas says, running his hand through her hair. 

"Can I call Adam and tell him?" She asks, grinning.

Ronan isn't surprised at all that his dreams are as obsessed with Adam Parrish as he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to be dramatic, but I'd die for soft Ronan and soft Adam.  
> Also, I haven't read Call Down The Hawk yet, what a shame. 
> 
> Take care x


	3. Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: light smut

As soon as Adam gets off the Hondayota, which is parked right next to Ronan’s BMW like that spot was made expressly for his car, Orphan Girl run to him almost completely covered in mud.

“Adam! I have a name, a pretty name!” She shouts and hugs Adam legs happily.

Adam’s heart flutters, he’s not used to receive heart-warming welcomes when he gets home. “Oh, really? What is it?”

“Opal.” She says majestically, and points at the tiny shining stone on her bracelet, “Like this.”

“Opal,” he repeats, “You’re right, it’s a very beautiful name. Did you chose it?”

She nods, “Kerah helped me, but he let me decide.” Adam spot Ronan standing on the porch, looking at them with soft eyes and he shivers a little, as always when he sees him. Opal tugs at Adam’s coat and says something in a language he doesn’t know.

“English or Latin, brat. I’ve already told you, no dream language.” Ronan tells her and she tugs again at Adam’s sleeve, so he leans down to be at her same height.

“You can call me Urchin, if you love me.” She grins and Adam can’t keep a smile. Before he can reply, she’s running in the field after Chainsaw, who just flew away from his dreamer’s shoulder.

Adam feels a little out of place while he climbs the stairs to reach Ronan, who’s standing there, being majestic; Adam, on the contrary, has messy hair and he’s pretty sure he has some grease on his cheek from the shift at Boyd’s, because he decided to come directly at the Barns, instead of going home, as he was very keen of seeing Ronan as soon as possible.

Ronan reach out to pull Adam closer, but Adam shakes his head and he stills, “Don’t, I’m all greasy and sweaty from work. I gotta shower first.”

He rolls his eyes with a snort, “Who gives a fuck, Parrish.” He says and closes the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Adam’s neck. “Besides, you smelling like _cars_ is pretty fucking hot.”

Adam feels Ronan’s hot breath on his lips and he’s sure he’s about to auto combust. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He grins and then he finally – finally – kisses Adam, breaking all his walls with a single touch of his lips. Adam was tired as fuck when his shift ended, but his body is suddenly very, very awake and ready to explore Ronan an inch at a time.

They separate some minutes later with red lips and Ronan grabs his hand, “Come, dinner is ready.”

Adam glances at Opal, who’s playing with Chainsaw and his brow furrows, “Isn’t she coming?”

“She ate earlier, she’ll drift off in about half an hour.” Ronan shrugs, “Sometimes she falls asleep in the fields and I have to go look for her and take her to her room… I’m trying to teach her to just come inside to sleep, but she won’t just fucking _listen_.” There isn’t anger in his voice, he’s just trying to include Adam in their lives and he can’t express how that makes him feel.

“Well, she’s a tinier, cuter version of you, you can’t expect her not to be stubborn.” Adam teases him and Ronan groans.

“I’m starting to regret having you two around, you’ll end up allying against me.”

Adam laughs, “We could, so you better watch out.” His heart swells when Ronan places the biggest plate ever of pasta in front of him. Adam has mixed feeling about Ronan cooking for him, the strongest one is gratitude- and not just for the food.

“You shouldn’t have bothered.” Adam points out.

“It’s not like I did much more than just putting on water to boil.” He rolls his eyes. “Eat.”

They eat chatting casually about all and nothing; Adam tells him about his day at school and Ronan updates him about the dream things he found in the tool cage. It’s easy and Adam thinks not for the first time, that this is what coming home to a proper family feels like.

He’s not used to people who genuinely wants to know the little things that happened to him during the day, from the math exam to what he did at work.

It’s refreshing.

While Ronan looks for Opal, Adam do the dishes (Ronan isn’t there to stop him anyway and he wants to help). He comes back home a little later, shoes covered in mud and holding a sleeping Opal in his arms. He doesn’t say anything, just glance at Adam and rolls his eyes to say, _See? I told you_. Adam smiles, because he just loves seeing them together and follows him upstairs.

He watches from the door as Ronan places her on the bed, wrapping the blankets tightly around her tiny body.

It doesn’t matter how many times Ronan snorts and roll his eyes, because Adam can see the truth in the way he attentively takes care of her: he loves her with all his heart. He wouldn’t trade this for anything.

When they close the door of her bedroom, Adam study Ronan’s expression and murmurs, “She said that if I love her I have to call her urchin.”

“Brat.” He scoffs a laugh, but his cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink, “We talked a little today, she picked her name from my dream-bracelet.”

“She told me.” Adam says fondly, following Ronan to his room. Then asks, shyly, “Do you think she likes me?”

“Please, Parrish,” He snorts, “She’s as obsessed with you as I am.”

“Oh, so you're obsessed with me?” He teases, placing his hands on Ronan’s hips.

“Never said that.” He shakes his head and rubs his thumb over Adam’s cheekbone, where he probably still has some grease.

Adam smiles and squeezes his hips gently, pulling him closer, but instead of kissing him, he lets go right before their lips touch, because he loves teasing Ronan – he does that face like he’s unsure whether to kill or kiss Adam, “I gotta take a shower now.”

Ronan groans, but lets him go. “Asshole."

Adam doesn’t know what’s gotten into him today, he feels like he’s under some sort of needy spell, so he adds with a shrug (because he doesn’t want to look desperate)(even if he is a little), “With all the kissing, I got you greasy too, you should probably come with me…”

"Should I?” Ronan asks, wetting his lips. It doesn’t escape Adam’s attention the way his eyes get darker, his blue pupils almost completely swallowed by the black.

“I mean, if you want to. You don’t have to, I just thought… it would be nice.” He mumbles, embarrassed.

“Yeah, okay.” Ronan nods casually, saving him from his misery, and leads Adam to the bathroom, turning the hot water to run.

He looks at Adam while he takes off his shirt, slowly, like he’s waiting for Adam to change his mind (like Adam would ever want him to stop!) and then, never tearing his eyes away from Adam’s, he takes off his jeans and boxers, with a little smirk when Adam’s jaw drops open. He gets in the shower, disappearing behind the fogged glass.

Adam has not done much but stare, because – holy shit, that was Ronan Lynch’s cock! And his butt! And his tattoo! And his… everything! He takes a deep breath before he realises that he’s supposed to take off his clothes as well.

Now that it’s actually happening, after he thought about his pretty much all day, he’s starting to panic, because he’s not _adequate_.

He’s not even remotely as perfect as Ronan. Ronan’s body was basically sculpted in marbles by some benevolent God.

Adam’s, on the contrary, is covered in scars and, even if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t still be as beautiful as Ronan’s. In his heart, Adam knows that what he and Ronan have is way deeper than just their appearances, but he can’t stop overthinking this and be scared that Ronan will grow bored of him, once he’s seen him – once he realizes he’s not worth it.

He sighs slowly, before getting naked and stepping in the shower.

Ronan’s facing the other side, so Adam can admire the tattoo on his back (and his bum, oh my god), with the water ripping down it. He brushes his fingertip on Ronan’s spine and he’s surprised when he sees his skin responds with goosebumps.

“You know, I still can’t believe you actually dreamt this.” He murmurs.

He hears Ronan swallows loudly, “Can I turn around, Parrish?”

“Yes.” He replies after a bunch of seconds and waits till Ronan’s gaze meets his own. It takes all the willpower he has not to look down, but to keep his eyes on Ronan’s face.

Ronan fingers gently brush Adam’s chest, inch by inch, followed by his eyes. He traces every line, every scar, every mole with boundless grace, mourning prayers under his breath that Adam can’t understand. He feels his gaze study every millimetre of skin he can reach, then he leans on Adam’s good ear and whispers, “Beautiful.”

Adam feels his body crackle like an open fire.

“You know, it’s really taking all my self-control not to push you against this wall, right now.” Ronan says, eyes like two ponds of darkness.

“Fuck self-control.” Adam replies out of breath, before crushing their lips together.

Ronan’s body is crackling with the same exact fire as Adam’s, as he pushes him back under the water and against the wall.

They feel like they’ve reached the breaking point, like the walls they’ve built around themselves for years are falling down, destroyed by deep kisses and wandering hands.

Adam feels like Ronan is taking him apart and they are not even properly touching. Not _there_ , at least.

Adam’s head falls back against the wall when Ronan starts sucking a mark on the skin oh his neck, right above his collarbone. He lets out a soft moan and immediately covers his mouth with his hand to stop those embarrassing sounds.

Ronan takes his hand, slowly, and start kissing every finger, without looking away from Adam’s eyes. “I just… really love your hands.” Ronan says.

“I love your tattoo.” Adam replies, without even thinking about it.

“You do?” Ronan smirks, kissing his palm, then his wrist.

“Yes.” He breathes out. He just hadn’t realised how much till now. He lets his hand slide from Ronan’s back to his ass and he squeezes it gently, tentatively. He’s rewarded with a low moan, mouth pressed against his palm. It’s a sound that Adam will replay in his head over and over again.

They’ve touched everywhere but right where Adam wants to. So, he asks, shyly, like he’s not allowed to want Ronan this much, “Can I…?”

“You can do whatever the fuck you want to me, Parrish.”

So, Adam brings Ronan’s hands in his hair and slowly, painfully slowly, wraps his hand around Ronan.

They don’t get out of the shower until the water turns cold – and even after that, it still takes them many minutes to actually stop kissing – and they collapse on the bed, more naked than not, wet hair and happy eyes.

“That was…” Adam says, rubbing his hands on Ronan’s chest.

“Fucking hot.” Ronan concludes. And it was. The best thing ever happened to Adam; the most overwhelming, too.

“So… you’ll dream me that planet tonight?” Adam teases him, gently biting his shoulder.

“Don’t let it go over your head, Parrish.” Ronan snorts, “there is always space for improvement.”

“You didn’t look like someone who could bear much more, honestly.” Adam laughs and Ronan pins him against the mattress.

“Shut up, asshole.” He snaps back, but his words don’t match his movements, because he slowly brushes the top of his nose against Adam’s, in a way that almost makes him collapse of tenderness.

“Make me.” He says, in what he hopes is a sexy voice.

“You’re barely keeping your eyes open, Parrish. Go to sleep, you have work tomorrow morning.” He says and rolls off of him to cover the both of them with the blankets.

Adam is, in fact, knackered, but he doesn’t want to stop kissing and touching Ronan. He yawns, nonetheless. “If you gotta dream me more roses, please, make them without the thorns.” He says, wrapping his arm around Ronan’s torso and entangling their legs.

“Maybe I’ll dream just the thorns, you nightmare.”

Adam tilts back his head to look at Ronan, who kisses him nonetheless. “Sleep, Parrish.”

“Goodnight, Ronan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was... just fluff, i don't know   
> I hope it was good at least!
> 
> Take care x


	4. Mine

It’s not like Ronan doesn’t know how much his work means to Adam, it’s just that he also knows how little he sleeps, how tired he always his. He’s seen the way Adam drags himself out of bed in the morning after barely a few hours of (bad) sleep and he’s seen how he’ll make himself go on and on and on till he risks implosion.

So, Ronan doesn’t really have the heart to wake Adam. Not when he’s looking so peaceful and happy, barely a heartbeat away from Ronan’s naked body. Not after Ronan kept him awake most of the night (not that he’s feeling particularly guilty about that, as it was a fucking epic night).

He knows he _has_ to, though, or Adam will freak out about the missed shift at work and he’ll get angry (Ronan doesn’t really want Adam to leave, but he wants even less to make him angry, so he has not much choice). Nonetheless, Ronan turns off Adam’s alarm before it goes off and he dedicates himself on waking him up in a gentler way.

Maybe he can’t stop Adam from waking up and starting his day this early, but he sure as hell try to make it more bearable (well… for the both of them).

Ronan doesn’t do it just because he wants to trail Adam’s body with his fingers and mouth over and over again – even if that is a powerful incentive; he does it because he has seen in Adam’s eyes that he doesn’t believe to be worthy of love. Nor tenderness.

Ronan has hated realizing it and he immediately wanted to punch something, because how terrible the world can be to not make Adam Parrish feel worth of love? He’s literally the best person Ronan has ever met. There is no one that fucking deserves to be showered in love more than him.

Instead of surrendering to rage, like he normally would’ve done (maybe he’ll still do it after Adam’s left and punch the shit out of something. Anything.), he decided to prove Adam wrong. He’s made up his mind to make Adam understand that, fuck, he has to scream from the top of his lungs that he’s fucking worth it. That what his father did to him doesn’t define him. That even if he feels damaged, even if he’s trying to just hold the pieces together, he’s awesome and beautiful and smart and the best thing ever happened to Ronan.

What more effective way is there to do so if not with touches and words? Ronan is not really good with words, let’s face it – even if he really wants to improve. However, he’s all in for the touches part. And kisses.

A lot of kisses.

Adam is sleeping wrapped in a ball, deaf ear pressed on the pillow and hands resting on Ronan’s chest.

Fuck, those hands.

The memory of what they just did last night is thundering in Ronan’s ears like a fucking summer storm. He isn’t utterly sure that he will be able to survive without Adam, now that he knows.

He knows what Adam _sounds_ like, what he _tastes_ like.

He carefully takes one of Adam’s hand in his and brings it to his face; for a second, he stills, to make sure that he’s still sleeping on his side (he is), then Ronan starts tracing every single one of the lines over his hand, first with his fingertip, than with his lips.

Ronan remembers clearly that the first time he allowed himself to stare at Adam’s hands, he thought that he had pianist fingers. Long and elegant. Now, however, he can think of many other holy things that Adam’s fingers were made for besides playing the piano.

He kisses every fingertip, every knuckle, every mole. He thinks, _beautiful, beautiful, beautiful_. But he keeps it for himself, because he’s scared that he might make Adam freaks out and run away, if he really shows him how he feels. How deep and true his feelings are. Fuck, it scares Ronan himself knowing it.

Adam starts to wake when Ronan’s lips start going to his wrist. “Ronan.” He says.

Just that. Just his name. But the way his sleepy hoarse voice echoes against Ronan’s bare skin is enough to make him shiver (even if he refuses to acknowledge it).

If Adam is always beautiful, morning Adam is a breath-taking masterpiece. A masterpiece with messy hair and wrinkled eyes. Ronan wishes he could hold Adam in his bed forever, safe from the world, showing him just how valid and loved he is.

 _Loved_.

Ronan doesn’t reply to him, just goes on trailing kisses, because as already mentioned he isn’t good with words, not at all.

“You do really have a thing for hands, don’t you?” Adam laughs lightly, his hot breath caresses Ronan’s arm.

“Just yours.” Ronan says, sincerely. He doesn’t know if he’d like somebody else’s hands just as much as he likes Adam’s. But, to say it all, he isn’t sure he could like anything as much as he likes Adam. Especially not after tonight.

“Where is the planet I was promised?” He hums, pressing his face against the dreamer’s skin.

“No planets,” Ronan shrugs a little. “Sex wasn’t good enough.”

Truth is, that he didn’t sleep at all. He just spent all night holding Adam, brushing his fingers in his hair. It’s not something that happened on purpose, it’s just that when he was finally drifting off, Adam started humming and talking in his sleep and Ronan had all kind of feelings.

He hoped Adam was dreaming about him, with the soft moans he was letting out.

After that, sleep just didn’t come. He stayed there and guarded Adam’s dreams.

“Sex was fucking fantastic.” Adam snorts, kicking Ronan’s leg jokingly.

“I know, just wanted to hear you say it.” He admits, with a grin.

Adam bites his armpit gently and Ronan rolls his eyes before dragging him on top of his body. Adam is smirking when he leans in for a kiss, but he stops him, placing a finger over his lips. “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”

Ronan snorts and kisses his finger once more. “Do I look like someone who gives a fuck? That’s because I really don’t.”

“Gross.” Adam says, but then they are kissing like that’s the only thing that can actually prove that this is real life and not a dream.

And it is. It couldn’t be truer, if Adam’s soft moans against his lips are any proof.

Ronan wraps his arms around his (very naked) body, pulling him as close as he physically can without hurting him, and kisses him with such passion, that he’s afraid that Adam can feel his messy heartbeat echoes in his body. No, he isn’t afraid. Not at all.

He _wants_ Adam to feel it, because he has to start believing just how amazing he is and see all the things he does to Ronan.

So, he lets out a big moan when Adam jerks his hips against his. It’s not like he has to fake it, it’s just that he doesn’t hold it back like he usually does.

And Adam does it again, because he’s an asshole and he enjoyed that sound too much to not try to hear it again.

That’s when Ronan realizes just how hard Adam is against him and he allows himself, for a second, to think, _Fuck, I’ve done this do him. I did this_.

Then, reality hits him and he has to go back to Earth. “Parrish.”

“It’s ‘Adam’ when we do this, not ‘Parrish’.” Adam says, rocking his hips again, trailing kisses on his neck.

Ronan’s breath catches and for a while he isn’t able to speak again, but then, “Parrish.”

“What.” He groans and moves to pinch gently Ronan’s nipples. “I’m trying to concentrate.”

“You’re late for work.” Ronan says when he’s able to form coherent thoughts again, even if the last thing he wants now is see him leave; but, again, he knows that Adam won’t forgive himself if he misses his shift.

“I’m not, the alarm hasn’t even gone off yet. Shut up and let me kiss you, I’m sure I’ve missed some spots last nights.”

Something in Ronan’s belly totally agrees with Adam, but he tries so hard to ignore his own body. He can’t keep a grin off his face, though. “And you’ll have time to kiss them all. Many, many times. But your alarm didn’t go off because I muted your phone and woke you up myself instead.”

He groans in agony again and Ronan has to bite the inside of his cheek not to smile. “What if I don’t care?”

“But you do.”

“That’s not fair,” Adam sighs, he sits on Ronan’s thighs and run his hand over his stomach with adoring eyes. “You are very _naked_. Extremely naked. And _hot_ and I just… Ugh. I don’t want to leave.”

“Hot, huh?” Ronan teases him, even if his whole body is combusting right now. “I’ll still be when you come back. Well, not naked probably, but you’ll find a way to make that happen eventually.”

Adam Parrish doesn’t want to leave and Ronan’s heart flutters like it’s trying to fly away from his chest.

He smiles a little, “Oh, will I come back soon?”

“If you keep that up,” Ronan snaps back, gesturing at Adam’s hands rubbing circles on his hipbones, dangerously close to his cock, “I’m not sure you’ll even be able to leave at all.”

Adam grins wickedly, because he knows exactly what he’s doing. “That would be really terrible. What a tragedy that would be.”

In fact, it _is_ a tragedy, to have Adam all naked and flushed here and have to keep his hands off of him, because he cares about Adam’s heart more than he cares about what his own body wants.

“Asshole.” Ronan snorts and sits on the bed, to get closer to Adam’s face. He presses him closer to his chest and every inch of their bodies stick together like they are two puzzle pieces. “Yes, you will come back soon. Literally as soon as you can. And then I’ll kiss the fuck out of your body because you are a fucking teaser.”

“It’s not my fault. It’s yours. If you wouldn’t have been hot and naked I wouldn’t have… Oh no, I would’ve kissed you anyway. Nevermind.” Adam shrugs casually and Ronan kisses his neck, because he really can’t help it.

After a while of tender kisses, Ronan hears Adam sighs, “But I’ve already slept here two nights…”

“So?” Ronan asks, cocking an eyebrow. He’s afraid he knows where this is going.

“So, I don’t live here, nor I pay for the rent and the groceries… It’s just wrong, if I stay here all the time.”

“How can it be wrong?” Ronan rolls his eyes, and he can’t really ask Adam to move to the Barns _yet_ , because he knows he would freak out… But he also doesn’t want him to not spend all the time here. “If you want to spend the night here, just fucking do it. Besides, Opal is really happy when you’re here.”

Adam brushes the top of his nose against his, softly. Tenderly. “Just Opal?”

“Yes.” Ronan sighs dramatically, “You’re annoying, but I can deal with you for Opal’s happiness.”

“How generous of you.” Adam laughs and it’s a very bad thing for two reasons: because his laughter makes Ronan even less willing to let him go to work and because shaking their cocks brush together in a very, very amazing way.

“Go now, because my self-control is running low.” Ronan groans and let his arms fall on the mattress.

“Fuck self-control.” Adam says, brushing his lips against Ronan’s, and that’s what he said yesterday before they started making out, so Ronan starts to think that this is what is going to happen again, but instead Adam kisses him just once, before getting up and disappearing in the bathroom.

Ronan imagines that he will take a very, very cold shower. Also, a quick one, because he’s late as fuck for work.

He makes breakfast for the two of them (Opal is still sleeping, she'll eat later) and when he gets back to his room, he hears Adam mutters “Fuck! Fuck, dammit!” in front of the mirror.

Ronan sneaks to him and hugs him from behind, in a way that is a little sappy, but he doesn’t find to will to care at the moment. “What’s wrong?”

Adam turns his head and hides his face in Ronan’s neck; Ronan stares at their reflection and something happens inside him: it’s like he can see the rest of his life. He squeezes his eyes, to shake away that feeling.

 _Go slow_ , he thinks. _Don’t screw this, don’t scare him._

“My neck is fucking covered in hickeys and my collar doesn’t even cover half of them.” He murmurs against Ronan’s warm skin.

“Oh, that’s very sad. How sad to think that everybody will know you’re _mine_.” Ronan sighs sarcastically. The exact moment the words leave his lips, he bites his tongue. I said go _slow_ , you fucking idiot!

Ronan feels Adam’s breath catching in his throat and he freezes, scared that he’ll run away any minute. Instead, Adam stretches back his hand and places it on the back of Ronan’s neck. Their gazes meet through their reflection in the big mirror.

“Am I?” Adam asks, almost shyly.

“Are _you_?” Ronan asks, totally shyly.

Adam’s eyes never leave his when he says, “I want to be.”

Ronan doesn’t really know what the appropriate thing to do is, but he thinks that screaming from happiness isn’t, so instead he replies, “So sleep here tonight.” After a second, he adds, “Please.”

“If you keep asking, I’ll think you might have plans.” Adam grins, so Ronan brings his lips to his good ear and starts telling Adam some of the many, many, many things he wants to do to him. He doesn’t even have to think about it, as there are years of fantasies in his mind.

Ronan watches in the mirror how Adam’s eyes widen while he speaks and feels a bit of pride rises in him. He loves being able to take him off guard like this, being able to take him apart within seconds.

Right when Ronan is about to elaborate on the climax of one of his fantasies, Adam turns around and covers his mouth with his hand. His pupils are wide and desperate. “Shut up, shut up. I’ll spend the night here, I’ll definitely come right after work… Just, shut up, or I’ll have to take another shower.”

“You’ll find me here, thinking about how you interrupted me right on the best part of my story.” Ronan sighs, but he can’t stop smiling.

“That was… a very good story, indeed. We’ll have to develop the ending, some day.” Adam clears his throat. “Now I really have to go.” He kisses rapidly Ronan, then he kisses him again for a bit longer, because the first kiss wasn’t enough (nor was the second).

Ronan watches him leave still smirking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, everyone! x  
> Enjoy all this fluff, it's my Christmas' gift for you :)
> 
> Take care x


	5. Elsewhere

Adam can’t literally think about anything else for the whole day. Nothing. Not a single thing. Not one.

When he’s sitting in class, he keeps hearing over and over again Ronan’s words; when he’s at work, he keeps feeling the ghost of Ronan touch on him; when he’s at lunch with Gansey, he keeps –

“Would you please stop it?” Gansey snorts, when they are on their way to the next class after lunch.

“Doing what?” he asks, “I’m not doing anything.”

“I’ve been talking for the last thirty minutes and you haven’t listened to a single word.” Gansey rolls his eyes and Adams feels a little guilty, “What is it?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Yeah, sure. Is it the same nothing that gave you all those hickeys?”

“It’s not.” Adam says, but his fingers automatically go to brush the sensible skin of his neck.

He thought he’d be embarrassed by the red marks at school, but he found it extremely satisfying instead; not because he can flaunt around that he is dating someone, but because every time he spotted someone staring at his hickeys, his mind immediately went to Ronan saying “Everybody will know you’re mine”.

Thinking about it sends all kind of feelings down Adam’s spine.

So, he spends all day like this: dreaming of Ronan.

It sounds weird, maybe, that he’s dreaming about the Dreamer, but he just can’t stop. A couple of times he literally had to take some deep breaths to stop thinking about it too much, because it was getting too… vivid.

His last shift for the day ends a little after dinner time and by time he goes home, grabs some clothes and the stuff he needs for the night (because he really can’t keep stealing Ronan’s clothes… even if they are very, very comfortable and have Ronan’s scent) and drive to the Barns, it’s already night.

He stumbles out of the Hondayota with his heart full of promises, but he stops on his steps when he sees Opal sleeping peacefully in the garden right under the porch. She’s curled on herself like a cat, her hat low on her forehead and a flower in the pocket of her sweater. He smiles and carefully picks her up to take her to her bedroom; he manages to open the door with his elbow (without knocking, because he doesn’t want to wake her up, even if he feels a little like an intruder) and gets in, holding her against his chest.

He imagines finding Ronan in the kitchen, but it’s empty. Though, he hears voice from the leaving room, so he goes there – especially since the stairs to the bedrooms are in that room – and finds Ronan, Gansey, Henry and Blue all squeezed on the couch, playing some video game.

“Huh, hey?” Adam murmurs, but he sounds a little uncertain. He tries to keep the disappointment of not finding Ronan alone off his voice. It’s not that he wants Ronan to stay alone, it’s just… that he had plans. Plans that really don’t include Gansey, Blue and Cheng.

However, Ronan’s face lights up in a way that is heart-warming when he sees him standing on the door, with Opal in his arms. “Parrish, fucking finally.”

“I had to finish fixing a car and it took more time than expected.” Adam shrugs slightly, trying not to move Opal too much.

“And why is that? Were you _distracted_?” Gansey mocks him with an evil grin.

Blue pinches his knee, “Let him be, he literally arrived a minute ago.”

“I’ll take her upstairs,” Adam says, rolling his eyes and goes without waiting for their answers, because Opal is quite heavy in his arms and he’s also a little pissed off, even if he’s not sure why. Can’t he stay even a day without Ronan?

Adam hates realizing that _no_ , he most likely can’t.

And he hates it, because he doesn’t want to rely on anyone. Not even Ronan.

Suddenly, there is a spark of anger in him, but it evaporates when he feels Opal’s tiny hand on his cheek. He looks down at her while he lays her on the bed, covering her body with the pile of colourful blankets. “Hey, Opal.”

“I was waiting for you for dinner,” She says, pouting, “I found a very special bark today and I wanted to share it with you.”

Adam feels his organs melt. “I’m sorry, I had to work… Was that tasty?”

“Yes, very much. Kerah didn’t want to try it.” She tries to snort, but she ends up yawning instead. This little creature is the sweetest thing Adam has ever seen; she’s just so precious that you can’t not love her.

“Well, you had more for yourself, at least.” Adam tells her and she grins. He takes off her hat and run his fingers through her hair, watching her eyes close slowly. When he thinks she’s sleeping again, Adam smiles and get up to leave, but her tiny voice calls him back, “Adam?”

“Yes?”

“Can you please… kiss me goodnight? Kerah always does it when he believes I’m asleep. It helps to keep the nightmares away.”

Adam has the sudden urge to wrap her in a blanket and keep her safe from the world, to prevent anything bad happens to her. He doesn’t want her to ever lose her sweetness, her authenticity.

He doesn’t reply, just leans and kisses her forehead. “Goodnight, Opal. Sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight.” She murmurs, closing her eyes again. He stays there a few seconds more, to be sure she’s okay and can fall asleep; he hopes he’s done everything alright, this is the very first time that he puts a kid to sleep. Just to be sure, he wraps the blankets more tightly around her tiny body.

When he turns around, he finds Ronan standing at the door, with an extraordinarily unreadable expression on his face. Adam feels the need to run to him and for a second he hates himself, because _fuck_. He really needs Ronan too much.

So, he shaves his hands in his pockets and watches Ronan close the door behind them when they get in the hallway.

“There is pizza waiting for you.” Ronan says, leaning his back on the wall and stares at Adam, arms crossed against his chest and the ghost of a smile on his lips. _His lips._

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Adam intended to make his voice sounds casual, but it really just sounds desperate.

“Apparently,” He replies, grin widening, “you missed me very much today at school.”

 _Not just at school_ , Adam thinks. He rolls his eyes, “Gansey told you? Fucking traitor.”

“So… it’s true.” Ronan points out and Adam suddenly feels a little overwhelmed.

Adam has spent all his life relying on nobody but himself; he feels the world shake under his feet every time he thinks that now he isn’t able to be by himself anymore.

“I’m going home, I’m tired.” He says and moves to go, but Ronan grabs his wrist and turns him around.

Adam _feels_ the wheels spinning in Ronan’s head and sees in his eyes that’s he’s worried. He feels like an asshole right now. “Did I screw up?” Ronan asks, voice barely more than a whisper.

“No, no no.” Adam mumbles, trying to reassure him, because it doesn’t matter how he feels about himself, he never wants Ronan to feel like it’s his fault. “It’s just, I - Listen, you’re amazing.” He says firmly and notices Ronan’s shoulders relax a bit. “It’s just that I don’t like feeling like I depend on you.”

“What are you talking about?” Ronan’s brows furrow.

“I don’t know, the pizza and the sleeping here and the fact that apparently I can’t go a single fucking day without seeing you. Fuck. It’s… fuck.” He blurs out, before he can pick his words more wisely.

Ronan’s hand cups Adam’s cheek, tenderly, and as he wants to prove his fucking point, Adam leans in the touch, pressing more against his warm skin. “You mean that you aren’t used to being loved.” Ronan says. It’s as if he said that the sky is blue: it’s not a question, it’s a fact.

Adam replies the word in his head a few times: Loved. Loved, loved, loved.

Does this mean Ronan love him? God.

However, Adam feels the empty spot in his chest the exact size of his father’s fist. “You don’t have to take care of me, Lynch.”

“I know I don’t have to. I do it because I want to.” He says it again as if it’s another fact and Adam doesn’t know how he feels about that.

“I feel like I need _you_ more than you need _me_ … It’s just not fair.” Adam whispers, feeling more than a little broken.

Ronan scoffs a bitter laugh, “You have no idea what you’re talking about, Parrish.” Adam looks away, because his gaze is really too much right now. They grow quiet for a bunch of seconds and Ronan swallows loudly, then he says, “Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe till I see you.”

Shock echoes through Adam’s body at those words and he looks at him with wide eyes, lips slightly parted. “Really?” He cracks out, because he still can’t believe that someone like Ronan chose someone like Adam. However, he knows that Ronan never lies and his heart flutters at the realization.

“Really. So, stop being an idiot about this whole thing and let yourself sleep here every time you want to.” He replies, “And don’t go home tonight, please.”

Adam brings his hands to Ronan’s neck and smile a little; it’s still a mystery how Ronan can make him go from zero to two hundred miles per hour in a single second. “You know, that whole thing you told me this morning was fucking distracting, I almost failed a test because of you.” He snorts and Ronan laughs.

Adam allows himself to believe for a moment that this is simple. That he gets to have this forever.

“Almost, huh? I have to try harder tomorrow then.” He shrugs and Adam shuts him up in the only way he knows that actually works: he kisses him.

Ronan kisses him back immediately wrapping his arms around him, but just for a moment, then he moves back and point at the stairs with his head, “Go eat something, Parrish. You’ve probably not eaten anything since lunch.”

It’s not until they reach the stairs, holding hands firmly, that the thought hits Adam. “Ronan, wait a second.”

“What?” He asks, tensing.

Adam gestures to their linked hands, “It’s just… I may have told Gansey, the day you kissed me. So, he knows. I’m sorry, I just… panicked, I think.”

Ronan’s brows furrow in a way so lightly that if Adam wasn’t so used to study his face, he would’ve missed it. “Okay.”

“Do you want them to know?” Adam asks, squeezing his fingers. He isn’t sure what answer he hopes to get.

“If I didn’t want everybody to know I wouldn’t have gave you all those fucking hickeys.” Ronan scoffs a laugh, his eyes saying: _How idiot are you, Parrish?_

A bubble explodes in Adam’s chest, but before he can reply, Ronan cocks an eyebrow and asks, “Do _you_ want them to know?”

“If I didn’t want everybody to know I wouldn’t have let you give me all these fucking hickeys.” He smiles and steals a kiss; with that soft touch, he also steals all of Ronan’s insecurities, but it’s not really something he does on purpose.

He knows that this is not all that needs to be said between them, but it’s enough for now. More than enough. It’s everything.

And that’s how they end up going in the living room still holding hands, almost like it’s a challenge between them; as if they want to know just how far the other is willing to go. The answer is that they’d both go to the end of the world, to the end of centuries. They’d transcend space and time to be together.

It's not something they can say out loud, though. Not yet, at least.

Cheng whistles approvingly when they sit on the couch, Adam is well aware that all eyes in the room are fixed on their intertwined hands. “It was about time, gentlemen! It was a bit tiring to see you two pining over each other.”

Blue has her brightest smile on, even if she’s trying (and failing) to hide it.

“For once, I have to agree with Cheng.” Gansey sighs dramatically, but his eyes are soft and Adam can see in them that everything will be okay.

Ronan snorts at his side, “Weren’t you complaining about that party, Cheng?”

Henry groans dramatically and starts to tell them about some party, Adam guesses that he’s started exactly where he left off before he interrupted them. He's grateful for the change off topic, because he hates being under the flashlight. 

He eats contently his pizza, his arm pressed against Ronan’s in a way that Adam is afraid is not so casual, but he really doesn’t care right now.

He doesn’t care because everything will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this happened because as Adam needs to be in control all the time, I figured it would be hard for him to realize that now he needs Ronan just as much. What do y'all think?   
> I don't know, I think he just needs some time to adjust and understand that being loved is okay
> 
> Take care x


	6. Belong

Ronan has decided that he’s fucking tired of Adam’s not being able to let himself be loved, so his new purpose in life is to fill him with so much love that he won’t manage to reject it.

The thing is… that he isn’t sure how to do that yet. But he’ll figure it out, eventually. He’ll find a way.

He thinks that a good place to start is going to Boyd’s at the end of Adam’s shift, so that’s exactly what he does. He was with Gansey, so he asked him to drop him directly at the garage and Adam will give him a lift home later (it’s not like Ronan was looking for a way to make Adam comes to the Barns to spend the night).

He _hates_ the fact that Adam doesn’t spend _every_ night at the Barns.

No, not really. He’d understand if there was a good reason behind it; what he really hates is that Adam doesn’t spend all the nights at the Barns _because_ he thinks he’s an intruder and that since he doesn’t pay the rent, he can’t stay there so very often.

Fucking bullshits, if you ask Ronan.

And Ronan can’t really spend the night at Saint Agnes, because he can’t leave Opal alone at the Barns.

Adam is working under a car when Ronan gets in, so he kicks his boot to catch his attention and he literally jumps (which is a little funny, let’s be honest)

“Holy fuck, Lynch. You fucking scared me, asshole.” He says, sliding away from under the car and getting on his feet.

“You’re lucky I’m not a serial killer, then.” Ronan smirks.

“I’m still not sure about that.” Adam groans sarcastically, but leans in to steal a kiss (a thing Ronan is very willing to concede). It’s still a surprise how sometimes they do that: kiss hello and kiss goodbye, casually, easily. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought you could give me a ride home, when you finish your shift.” He shrugs casually and leans against the car.

He always loved seeing him at Boyd’s, because there is something in Adam’s confidence about his work that just really suits him. He’s like a prince in his kingdom (not exactly as he were with Cabeswater, but it’s still something).

Adam and cars; the two things Ronan _loves_ the most. Well, and his friends and Opal and his brothers, but really: Adam and cars.

“Did you break the BMW or something? Because that would be a reason enough to stop racing. Also, I could fix it for you.”

Ronan knows that Parrish doesn’t like when he goes street racing, he’s already told him many times, but he doesn’t really want to stop, even if he doesn’t do it as often as he used to. It’s just how he clears his head when there are too many thoughts spinning and spinning and spinning behind his eyelids, he isn’t ready to give that up; not yet.

“Oh? Would I receive a discount?” He grins wickedly and Adam rolls his eyes.

“Absolutely not. You’d have to pay me twice as much as a normal costumer. Sadly, today I don’t accept dollars, only kisses.” He shrugs, wrapping his arms around Ronan.

“What a shame, really. I’m afraid I’ll have to find a new mechanic.” He sighs dramatically, causing the other boy to pinch his hip.

“Asshole.” Parrish groans and leans his lips closer to Ronan’s, so close that they almost brush when he speaks, “I think I’ll accept an advance payment.”

And that’s all it takes to pulverize Ronan’s remaining self-control (there is no one else here anyway, so it’s just the two of us).

When their lips finally meet, it’s nothing like their hello kiss.

It’s desperate and hungry, it’s tongues chasing each other’s, wet lips, messy breathes. It’s Adam’s hands gently sliding down Ronan’s back and squeezing his ass; it’s Ronan’s soft moan swallowed down Adam’s throat. It’s hands pulling hair and trying to be closer closer closer.

“Fucking hell, Parrish.” Ronan murmurs when they move back painting for air. It’s weirdly familiar how his heartbeat went crazy.

“I wanna go home, like now.” Adam sighs and hides his face in Ronan’s neck; he wonders if he can feel how fast and messy his heartbeat is for him - because of him. Ronan places his chin over his hair and holds back from sighing in turn: he does really want to be alone with Adam. Like, right now. Alone and naked. Very alone and very naked.

They haven’t done much besides that first night in the shower, because for all the following nights, something kept happening and they weren’t able to be alone. The only time Adam slept at the Barns this week, Opal had a nightmare and they ended up spending the night trying to reassure her that _no_ , they don’t want to send her back in a dream.

(Ronan felt really bad at that and started to think that maybe he’s doing a shit job at taking care of her… he hasn’t said it out loud, though.)

The point is, that both Ronan and Adam have been very moody and tense these last few days because they just want want want and they haven’t been able to do _anything_. Ronan won’t admit it, but he’s _craving_ some alone time with Parrish.

“Come home with me, then.” Ronan says, casually, like it’s not the only thing he desires right now.

“I still have to finish fixing this car.” Adam sighs again and watch as his thumb brush over Ronan’s bottom lip. “I’m sorry you came all the way over here and I can’t even… be with you. I just – I have to finish this.”

“I’ll wait, Parrish. Go do your job.” Ronan shrugs and steps back, leaning against the car.

He doesn’t even try to hide the fact the he is staring at Adam while he works, that all his attention is focused on how his greasy hands moves with such arrogance over the car engine. He is literally just _staring_. He can’t even properly think nor form coherent thoughts besides: _fucking hot_.

Now he’s not just craving to be alone with Parrish. He’s longing for his body, his lips, his hands.

“Stop it.” Adam snorts, with a dumb smile.

“Stop what?”

“You’re staring.” Adam points out, smiling widely now.

“And…?” Ronan doesn’t even deny it, because now he’s _allowed_ to stare at Adam.

“And I need to work and you’re fucking distracting me.” Adam snorts, like he wants to kill or kiss him; maybe he hasn’t decided yet. That's fine by Ronan.

“And how is that distracting? It’s not like I’m saying aloud all the filthy things I’m thinking.” He grins wickedly, making Adam blush.

“If you look at me like _that_ , it is distracting. Very distracting.”

“Whatever,” Ronan shrugs, but definitely doesn’t look away, then he sighs dramatically. “Maybe you’re right, I should just go home, it really looks like you want to stay alone…”

“Don’t you fucking dare, Lynch.” He snaps back, pointing a screwdriver at him, “Now you’re gonna get in the Hondayota and wait ten minutes till I finish this fucking thing. Then, we’re gonna go home _together_ and you’ll get very naked and _then_ , just then, you’ll tell me all the filthy things you’re thinking. Maybe not just _tell_. Are we clear, asshole?”

Ronan’s body is absolutely on fire by now, he loves when Adam goes all bossy. “Chrystal.” He nods casually and moves away from where he was leaning on the car to reach the Hondayota; he makes sure to brush his hand over Adam’s back when he walks past him, just because he doesn’t want to be the only one turned on.

They barely make it to the house, though.

During the car ride, Ronan’s hand rests _casually_ on Adam’s thigh and he has to bite back a smile when he notices the car speeding up.

As soon as they are out of the Hondayota, Adam grabs Ronan by his leather jacket and pulls him in for a very desperate kiss and Ronan can do nothing but answer with the same exact hunger; there is electricity crackling in his body.

“Wait, what if – ugh, Opal?” Adam breathes out, between kisses, while they stumble in the living room.

“She’s at Fox Way.” He replies, trying to tear off Adam’s shirt without separating their lips for longer then the strictly necessary time.

Adam’s answer doesn’t really comes in words, but in hips pushing against Ronan’s, making the both of them moan in unison. “Bed?”

Ronan groans and pulls Adam by his belt loops, “Couch.” He mutters and they land together on it, Adam on top of him. Fuck, he missed this. He missed this so fucking much.

Adam laughs softly in his ear, “You’re wearing too many clothes, Lynch. Why are you still wearing _any_ _clothes at all_?”

“You talk too much, Parrish.” He snaps back and sucks tenderly at his collarbone, making him shiver. He says it like Adam’s voice isn’t his favourite sound in the whole universe, especially when he’s turned on and his voice is low and hoarse.

“Right... Besides I thought you were the one who had things to say.”

“Mmh, do I?” Ronan murmurs against his skin and a second later his shirt joins the other one on the floor. He’d feel a little embarrassed by all the things he was thinking earlier, but right now he’s way too caught up to care.

Adam runs his fingers over Ronan’s lips, smiling. “Yes.” He says, a little out of breath. “I want to hear them.”

Ronan parts his lips and sucks at Adam’s fingers, running his tongue over the calloused skin. That’s a thing he’s wanted to do for way too long; it’s still better than he imagined it, especially because Adam’s expression is priceless. “What if I show you instead?”

-

Adam’s laying on Ronan’s back, face pressed against his tattoo, and he’s trailing sloppy kisses on his skin. Ronan’s too knackered to do anything but hum and smile (not that he has any control on what his body is doing right now). 

“It was worth the wait.” Adam whispers, tracing the tattoo with reverence.

“Fuck the wait. We could have done this every night and it’d be even better.” Ronan snorts, voice soft because he isn’t able to play tough right now. Not that he needs to, not with Adam.

“If you say it like that, someone might think you missed me.” Adam grins against his skin and Ronan hide his face in the couch’s pillows.

“So?”

“So nothing, I missed you too.” He whispers and slides his hands under Ronan to press him closer (as if there is any space left between them). There is something funny happening in Ronan’s chest, like his heart is about to explode… or implode. Maybe both. “Am I crushing you? I can move.”

“Don’t you dare go away.” He tells him, so they just stay there, pressed together, skin against skin. Everything is quiet at the Barns and he feels completely at peace, like he could live this happily every day.

“I should’ve get the hint when you dreamed me that hands lotion, you know.” Adam says, after a while.

“Yeah, that or the other eighty-four-thousands hints, like me staring at you all the time.” Ronan rolls his eyes at his obliviousness. Really?

“I thought you were plotting how to get rid off me.” Adam laughs, then he adds, murmuring, “Why me?”

He knows what he’s asking: why did you choose to look at me? Why did you choose to love me? Ronan doesn’t even have to think about the answer; if he’s quiet for a while, it’s just because he’s trying to decide what he can says and what he can’t. “Because the first time I saw you I thought for a second that you came from one of my dreams, even if I was sure you weren’t.”

He feels Adam’s breath catches. “You told me once… You said ‘ _Maybe I dreamt you’_. You weren’t joking, even if at the time I thought you were.”

“I did _not_ dream you, Parrish. You are not a dream thing.” He doesn’t know why, but he needs to reassure him on that.

“If I were, that would explain why I feel like I belong to you.” He confesses and Ronan has to turn around, to see his face, so they sit on the couch, still standing as pressed together as they can manage.

Adam’s eyes aren’t worried or scared by what he’s saying. “I mean, I know you didn’t dream me, but I’m just saying that it’d make sense.” He adds, running his fingers over Ronan’s wrist randomly.

“You feel like you belong because you do, Adam.” Ronan tells him, unspoken truths bubbling in his chest, “You can have a home here, with me. You don’t have to be on your own anymore. You have me.”

And maybe he said something right for once, because Adam leans in and kisses him. This time it’s not desperate, it’s a promise. It’s low and tender and Ronan needs it like air to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just wrote all this chapter for them to remeber the 'maybe I dreamt you'? Maybe. Probably. Absolutely.  
> That was the scene that made me fall deeply in love with these two. 
> 
> Take care x


	7. Boyfriends

Adam wakes up before Ronan, for once. At some point, they managed to make it from the couch to the bed, even if they actually fell asleep some hours after that, because they were too busy exploring each other to sleep.

Adam’s brain switches on because he feels Ronan trembling against him. The dreamer is laying on his back, so tense that his body is shivering and there is a tiny veil of cold sweat on his body; Adam can’t help but notice as soon as he opens his eyes that the shadows of the bruises of his hands are still on Ronan’s neck.

However, he can’t deal with his guilt now, because Ronan is having a nightmare. He isn’t sure on what to do, as this is the first time since they sleep together that he has a bad dream, but he sure as hell can’t leave him to suffer, even if it’s just in his head.

He sits up and runs his hand on Ronan’s forehead, slowly, kindly, trying to soften the hard lines of his furrowed brow. “Ronan,” he murmurs, “You’re okay, you can control it. You’re here with me, at the Barns. At home. You’re safe. I’m here with you and I’ll always will be.”

He murmurs and murmurs and murmurs, till Ronan’s face eventually relaxes a bit, but he’s still trembling furiously. So, he does the only thing he can think of: he starts humming a song, caressing his face, wrapping the blankets more tightly around him.

He doesn’t really know how to sing, so he just murmurs in a low and steady rhythm the lyrics of the first song that comes to his mind when he looks at Ronan sleeping next to him.

_Running just as fast as we can, holding on to one another’s hands  
Trying to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me  
And we tumble to the ground and then you say_

_I think we're alone now,  
There doesn't seem to be anyone around  
I think we're alone now,  
The beating of our hearts is the only sound_

Ronan’s body slowly stops shaking and, at some point, he turns around and wraps his arm around Adam’s chest, pressing his forehead against his shoulder.

Adam sighs and holds him as close as he can, but he’s careful not to crash him, because he doesn’t want to wake him up; he wishes he could just keep Ronan safe from the world and himself. He rapidly figured out that Ronan’s head often turns into a prison, especially when he’s alone.

That’s when the sun begins to shine softly through the curtains that Ronan wakes up, eyelids flickering against Adam’s naked chest. “Hey.”

“Adam.” He says, his voice hoarse and low does all sort of things to Adam, but he tries to ignore the feelings.

“Slept good?” He asks, even if he already knows the answer.

However, Ronan surprises him by replying, “I always sleep good when you’re here.” Then, grinning, “Especially after sex.”

Adam snorts, but presses his lips on the top of his shaved head.

“Do you have to work today? Please, say no.”

“Not until four.” Adam replies, happy to have more time to spend at the Barns with his… boyfriend? Adam isn’t sure yet. He almost asks right now, but he bites his tongue instead. Don’t run, don’t ruin this. This is delicate.

Adam’s relieved that Ronan doesn’t seem to remember his nightmare, if his happy eyes are any proof.

“Fuck, yes.” Ronan smiles against his skin, before trailing lazy kisses down on his neck, on his chest, on every inch he can reach. “Then I shall use every minute to convince you that staying at the Barns is way better than staying at St. Agnes.”

As if Adam isn’t well aware of that.

“I can’t move here.” He says, instead of telling him just how much he wishes he could come here and never leave.

Ronan groans and, in revenge, sucks at his nipple, making Adam moans. “Technically, you could, as we are… you know.”

“We are what?” Adam asks, brow furrowed.

It takes a moment for Ronan to raise his gaze and meet Adam’s, his cheeks are slightly flushed and his brow is a little furrowed in uncertainty. Adam recognize that look, because it’s the face Lynch usually does right before hiding his feelings and becoming an asshole, because he doesn’t want to talk about the truth.

Adam definitely doesn’t want that, not now nor ever. He needs to know whatever he is thinking, so he rubs his thumb over Ronan’s cheekbone, holding onto him with his eyes.

“You know… Boyfriends, I guess, if you want to.”

And as Adam feels his heart beating as a fucking drum in his chest and he can’t not be a loser about it, he says, “Boyfriends.” With the sappiest smile ever.

“I mean, we don’t have to label it or some shit, we can just keep going on as we are.” Ronan snaps back, rolling his eyes. He moves a little and Adam thinks he’s trying to get off of him, so he wraps his arms around him and keeps him in place, because Ronan Lynch is an idiot who hasn’t understood just how much Adam has waited for him to say that word and make it official.

“I’d like to change my previous statement, then.” Adam says, brushing his nose against Ronan’s, “I can’t move at my boyfriend’s place.”

The smile that blooms on Ronan’s lips is _more_ than Adam could ever dream.

His heart is singing _mine-mine-mine,_ as he watches his face lights up with happiness _._

“ _Yet_.” Ronan replies, before kissing him. Adam finds and loses himself in that kiss, like it’s the end and the beginning of everything. Before Ronan: nothing. After Ronan: nothing. It’s just him, just them. And it’s all that matters.

They eventually have to break apart, because their bodies need air and food, so they wear sweatpants and go downstairs for breakfast.

Adam sits on the kitchen counter, after Ronan threatens him with a spatula telling him to just sit the fuck down and relax (Adam complies just because he gets to stare at him all he wants from there).

It feels… familiar. Like they’ve lived more than a lifetime together.

Adam’s belly is doing funny things – and not just because he’s starving – while he watches Ronan cooking and he can’t keep a smile when Ronan starts singing (because of fucking course Ronan can _also_ sing), “ _Running just as fast as we can, holding on to one another’s hands / Trying to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me…”_

“I didn’t know you liked that song.”

“Oh? Is it a real song? I thought I dreamed it,” he shrugs, pouring coffee in two mugs and handing one to Adam, that accepts it contently.

“You didn’t, it’s called _I think we’re alone now_.” Adam tells him, trying not to betray himself; he doesn’t exactly know why, but he doesn’t want Ronan to know that he sang to him, because then he might remember his nightmare.

“Well, probably my subconscious is trying to make me notice that we _do_ are alone now,” he says, casually, as if he’s not making Adam shiver, “and we should take advantage of that instead of eating. I mean, who needs food, anyway?”

“ _We_ do, asshole, eat your breakfast.” Adam laughs, but pulls Ronan to him for a kiss, widening his knees to have him as close as possible.

“Bossy.” Ronan snorts, but he is smiling.

They end up doing pretty much nothing but cuddle and kiss all day (after eating way too much at breakfast, because Ronan always cooks too much whenever Adam is aound).

Days like this – when it’s just the two of them, Adam doesn’t have homework or shifts and all is fine – are so rare that it almost feels like they’re living in a dream. If they are, Adam doesn’t even care. He sure as hell doesn't want to wake up.

“Don’t you have farm things to do? I could help.” Adam says, face hidden in the crook of Ronan’s neck; they’re laying on the couch, no even a single inch separating them.

“I’ll do them when you leave.” Ronan shrugs, fingers combing his blonde hair with lazy tenderness. “Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah.” Adam nods; he doesn’t really care about that, as Thanksgiving as always just been an excuse for his dad to drink even more. He’ll just stay home, do his homework and rest (all while thinking about his boyfriend, probably) (that word is wonderful, isn’t it?)

“Declan and Matthew are coming over, I hope you don’t mind if they’re here too.”

“Why would I do? It’s your house… and theirs.” He says, brow furrowed.

“Yes, but you’ll be here, won’t you?” Ronan asks, sounding a little confused. “I thought you didn’t have school nor work.”

“Are you asking me to spend Thanksgiving with you?”

“Uhm, yes? I thought it was implied. You know, with the whole boyfriend-thing.” His cheeks are slightly red, so Adam runs his thumbs over them.

He has to bite back a smile at the thought that Ronan just assumed that they should be together for the holidays, like the Barns it’s his home too. “With your family.”

“You’re fucking family, too, Parrish.” Ronan says, rolling his eyes. “I mean, if you don’t wanna come that’s fine, but we’ll still save a seat for you. I wasn’t…. I – I told you, you belong. I wasn’t lying. I don’t fucking lie, you must know that.”

Adam isn’t sure how he’s supposed to feel like. Most of all, he’s overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by Ronan and all that he is, all that he wants to give him, without even thinking about it twice. “Are you sure about that?”

“You’re an idiot, Parrish.” He snorts, then he nods, “I’m fucking sure, yeah.”

“Then I’ll be there,” Adam says, voice light, “ _But_ you’ll let me help you with the food and everything.”

“Fine.” Ronan concedes, his eyes sparkling a little with joy. “I didn’t want to… assume, I should’ve asked.”

“It’s okay,” Adam says, smiling at him, “We’re both new at this, we have to figure things out as we go.” He hopes he can live up to the expectations and he doesn’t let Ronan down. He isn't sure he's actually fit for this boyfriend-thing, but he has never wanted to do anything more in his life than being Ronan's boyfriend.

Ronan places his forehead against his, blue eyes melting in blue eyes, “I guess you’re right, for once, Parrish.”

“Fuck you,” Adam laughs, “I’m basically always right.”

“Yeah, you keep telling that to yourself.” Ronan smirks, hands exploring Adam’s back. “So, I have to go pick Opal up this noon, I could drive you to work and come back later… If you want to sleep here.”

“I don’t want to – “

“If the next word you say is _bother_ , I’m gonna push you off the couch.” Ronan says, in his grumpy way that makes Adam understand that he isn’t really joking.

“…trouble you.” He says, changing the word at the last second, with a tiny victorious smile.

“Asshole.” Ronan snorts, but he doesn’t push him off. “You _trouble_ me if you keep doing stupid-ass things like staying away because you feel like you have to.”

“I know, I just…” Adam murmurs, feeling suddenly guilty, because he doesn’t want Ronan to think it’s his fault (it’s not), “I need some time to _adjust_ to this - to us.”

Surprisingly, Ronan doesn’t snap back, just steals a kiss and nods, “Okay, Parrish. Take all the time you need, I’ll still be here when you’re ready.” His voice cracks a little and it's almost painful to hear.

“Thank you, _Ronan_.” Adam says, simply. He hopes Ronan knows that he’s not just referring to this, but to _everything_. To every single thing Ronan did for him.

“You’re still an idiot, _Adam_.” Ronan says and Adam believes there is so much more in his words too, because they can’t still tell each other how they truly feel.

It’s not the right time, it’s too early.

So, Adam ends the song for him, murmuring slowly against his lips, “ _I think we're alone now / The beating of our hearts is the only sound…”_

And then they kiss, because they can’t bear to be apart for another single second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly, I have exams in a few weeks and I have to study, so I won't be able to post the chapters as fast as I'd like... Sorry about that. 
> 
> Take care x


	8. Grateful

Thanksgiving is weird since it’s just the three of us; since there is no more Mom. No more Dad.

It’s just Ronan, Matthew and Declan now.

Even if, Ronan is already letting someone in in their little bubble: his _boyfriend_. What a weird word, isn’t it? It rolls off of Ronan’s tongue in a clumsy sound, like it really doesn’t belong to his vocabulary. That’s probably why he’s been repeating it in his mind for the last twenty-four hours.

And there is Opal too. The little urchin. She’s more Lynch than Ronan himself, so brave and fierce (and loud and messy). Ronan just knows Niall Lynch would’ve loved her, probably would’ve taken her under his protective wing like his own child.

It’s the first time they’ve been all together: the Lynch brothers, Opal and Adam; that’s probably why Ronan is so stressed out about today.

Declan and Matthew arrived like ten minutes ago and Opal is already showing her rocks collection to Matthew, who listens to her like it’s the most beautiful art exhibit he’s ever seen, because Matthew is just awesome like that.

Declan is standing awkwardly on the door, arms crossed over his chest, while Adam and Ronan cook – accidentally brushing their hands together here and there. He says, with his I’m-the-eldest-sibling voice, “We gotta talk, Ronan.”

“About?” Ronan asks, not even looking at him, because he knows damn well where he’s going.

Declan takes his time to reply, growing quiet for a while, tilting his head, “Alone, possibly.”

Ronan snorts and says, “Whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of Parrish.”, right when Adam mumbles, “I can go check on Opal.”

Ronan scowls at Adam (even if it’s not really as intimidating as he think he is, as there is a big stroke of flour on his cheek). Adam sighs (even if the corner of his lips curls up). Declan rolls his eyes (because he is Declan).

“School called, they said you haven’t gone to school lately.” Declan finally says, eyebrow cocked at Ronan in challenge.

“How about that,” Ronan retorts, sarcastically, “That’s probably because I dropped out.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? It’s your last year, you can’t just… drop out.”

“Can’t I? Because that’s exactly what I did.” Ronan shrugs, trying not to lose his temper, because he doesn’t want to ruin Thanksgiving.

“Why?” Declan asks, sound exasperated.

He barely registers Adam’s foot against his, pressing lightly.

“I don’t need a degree for the farm and taking care of the Barns. I have plans. They don’t involve school.”

“You’re talking nonsense-“

Ronan groans, “You’ve been here for less than an hour, can we wait till the cake to start throwing things at each other?”

Declan scowls at him, but luckily (for all of them), that’s when Opal and Matthew arrives running in the kitchen.

“Kerah!” Opal shouts, and then she proceeds talking animatedly about God knows what.

“Brat, no dream language. English or Latin, you know that.” Ronan tells her.

She takes a deep breath with her ‘nobody understands me’ look on her face, then she tries again, slowly this time and in English, “Matthew said he’ll take me hiking tomorrow, if you let us.”

Ronan looks at Matthew, whose face is lit up in a bright smile, “You sure?”

The youngest Lynch brother shrugs a little, “You can come too if you want, the more the merrier. But otherwise Opal and I will be fine on our own.”

Opal smirks at him, then – out of the blue – she turns around and tug at Declan’s sleeve with her tiny hand. He looks down at her with his brow furrowed, like he’s unsure what to do.

“You can come with us too, if you want, even if you don’t know me yet. I know you like to scowl at people, but you don’t mean to be bad, so you are welcome to come.”

And then the most surprising thing ever happens: Declan smiles down at her and it’s so soft, that Ronan almost can’t believe his eyes.

“Okay,” he says, “I’ll be there.”

Ronan can’t genuinely remember the last time he saw Declan smile. Or laugh. Opal, however, looks pretty pleased with herself and disappears in the living room, followed by Matthew.

“She’s a curious thing.” Declan says, brow furrowed.

“She’s not a thing,” Ronan rolls his eyes, slightly pissed off, but mainly surprised by what just happened, “Be kind to her.”

Declan just nod and follow the two Dreams in the living room, closing the kitchen door behind him.

Ronan turns to look at Adam, an eyebrow cocked, “What the fuck? Did I dream that?”

Adam smiles, widely, and rubs his thumb on Ronan’s cheek to wipe off the flour (and absolutely _not_ just as an excuse to touch him), “He’s trying, stop scowling.” He runs his fingers all over his face, his sharp cheekbones, his nose, his forehead… his lips.

“You’re annoying, Parrish.” He says, scowling even harder, but he leans on the touch like his life depends on it.

“You kind of signed up for this, so you have no one to blame but yourself.” He grins, “I’m sure it’s written on the _Boyfriends’ Contract_ or something. It also says that I’m totally allowed to steal a kiss right now.”

Ronan bites back a smile, “You’re an absolute menace.” He says, as if he’s not already kissing him, arms wrapped around Adam’s waist, pulling him as closer as he can: there shouldn’t be anything between them, not even a breath of distance.

That’s how Ronan likes his _boyfriend_ : mashed against his chest, tongues dancing, messy heartbeat echoing under his skin.

“Ronan where is the – Oh, you guys are cuuuute! But there is a kid literally here, so you might want to stop that.” Matthew laughs from the door, and they both blush red in seconds, all the way to the points of their ears.

Matthew covers Opal eyes with his hands, jokingly, “You never do that, deal? Always stay little and cute.”

Opal smiles, peeking at Ronan and Adam from his fingers, “They do that all the time, really.”

Ronan snorts, to cover his embarrassment (but of course he’s still holding Adam’s hand, because he doesn’t even notice that anymore; it’s like it was made to stay there.) “We don’t, Urchin.”

Adam, beautiful Adam with his red cheeks and sheepish smile, says, “We kind of do.”

“Traitor!” Ronan rolls his eyes, faux-betrayed, “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“And why is that?” Adam teases him.

“Because you signed up for this.” He replies, echoing his words, eyebrow cocked and Adam burst out laughing (it absolutely does not make Ronan’s belly goes crazy).

“Touché, Lynch.”

“Matthew, did you find the-“ Declan asks, getting in the kitchen. His gaze stumbles on Ronan and Adam’s intertwined hands and his brow furrows, “Ah.” He says, “It was about time. Is food ready, anyways? I’m starving.”

And that is how Ronan’s family found out about his boyfriend.

After the first awkward glances from Declan, Matthew’s smirks and Opal telling them things she shouldn’t tell to Declan Lynch - or anyone, really (like that time she found a weird bottle of _something_ in Ronan’s nightstand and that it wasn’t fair because isn’t allowed to bring food to her room), the lunch goes well.

Before starting to eat, Opal says, “Aren’t we supposed to say for what we’re thankful?”

Matthew happily agrees, so we listen to Opal while she lists way too many types of tree barks for which she’s very grateful, then, “And Kerah. And Adam.”

Ronan runs his hand through her hair gently, but doesn’t say anything, because there are no words to describe how he feels.

Matthew says, “I’m grateful for you all and the fact that I’m one year closer to get my degree, because I honestly can’t wait to go to uni.”

Declan says, “I’m grateful that we’re about to eat, because I’m fucking starving.”

Adam grabs Ronan’s hand under the table and squeezes tightly, he says, “I’m grateful to be here today.” And Ronan knows just how much there is behind those words that he feel the need to hold him tightly, but he’ll have to postpone that for when they are alone.

Opal stares at Ronan, expectantly, so he rolls his eyes and says a single word, “ _Family_.”

And that is probably enough, because they all start to eat, chatting and laughing about all and nothing. No things are thrown, not even when they are eating the cake, so it's probably a successful meal.

Matthew and Ronan spends all the weekend at the Barns and they take Opal hiking every day; Ronan starts to worry that she’ll act like she’s attention-starved when they’re gone, but he can’t really care about that when they all seem so happy. Even Declan.

Maybe – maybe – things will be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am an absolute nightmare because I haven't uploaded this fic in ages, I'm terribly sorry. I kind of had a writer block about his chapter, ugh.  
> (Please, note that I really don't know how Thanksgiving work, so if something is messed up, just tell me and I'll try to fix it). 
> 
> I'll try to do better! 
> 
> Take care x


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